Am I Offically The Adult in This Crowd???
This post is going to be a short one folks, because I thought by the time I was 59 I'd have life figured out and would have a lot of advise to give. It hasn't worked out that way, not for me at least. What the hell happened? Is something wrong with me? Do you guys who are older than me have it all figured out? Is there a burning bush to lead me in the right direction or stone tablets that come down off the mountain (which in Wilson is the Watson Drive hill that Steve White lives on) with all of life's answers on it? Please tell me!
My father was always the man with all the right answers. No matter what question I would ask him, he would give me a very thoughtful response. And he was so certain of whatever he was saying-never a scentilla of doubt in his voice. I was 37 before I realized that at least 25% of his answers were total bull. Probably 30%. (Clearly I wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer not to figure this fact out sooner.) He gave great answers, though. Google finally ruined his game when he could be fact checked on the spot. Later in life his answers always morphed into long World War II stories no matter what was asked. Those stories were repeated so often that I asked him to limit any conversation to pre -1941 and post - 1945 when we had lunch together. That was asking him to do something he couldn't ever do and the war stories continued until he drew his last breath. He even wrote them down. Google it. Seriously!
When my kids ask me a question and I don't know the answer, I pause and then I Google it....wait....my kids know more than me...they never ask me anything. I wish they would so I could make something up and sound authoritative and smart like my dad. Wait-there is creative license in Facebook posts. Have i made up anything here? I don't think so. ...(ahem)...(please don't Google that.)
I was also 37 when my mother first forgot to call for my birthday. To give the devil her due, she was 65 at the time and it was the same night as the OJ Bronco chase (true) and she was the type of person who sat glued to the TV (false) so she may have watched the Bronco chase from beginning to end (definitely false). More than likely there was a cocktail shindig at the Dunes Club that night and she had things to do that day (new dress to buy, fingernails to paint, hair-do to be did, pre-cocktail-ladies-lunch to be eaten or picked at) and it slipped her mind. She's nothing if not consistant-it's slipped her mind every year since then, although now she's 87 and has a damn good excuse for not remembering. Most years I've let it pass and not said anything but this year I'm going to call her and remind her it's my birthday and thank her for giving birth to me and hiring the very best people to change my diapers and raise me through the years. She's not the most traditional mother God ever put on the earth, but she's the one I got and I'm very grateful.
The lesson I've learned is life is a incredible gift and I am grateful for each and every day i'm here. I'll never figure it all out no matter how old and wise I am (or am not). I think about and miss those who have gone before me and try to be a good example for those who are behind me (I don't do a great job all that often but I keep trying). And so I've reached another milestone-59- years old - and it's hard to believe I'm at the halfway point of life if Iive to be 120 (damn you doubters out there...it could happen). I plan on making the most of what's left of my life.....having as much fun as possible....acting my age when I have to....and not acting my age when I don't have to (which I hope is more often).
I don't have the answers and probably never will but I hope you'll all join me in the fun of trying to figure them all out. And if you see a burning bush or stone tablets with the answers to life's hardest questions, please post them on my Facebook page. It could happen.
And as my mother taught me to say: Happy F#@king Birthday to me!
I told you she wasn't like other mothers.
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